A Mother Nonetheless

I always feel that I have missed out on the "real" thing in life. That is, to give birth in labour,
I tried a lot for it. I went for Lamaze classes, went for long walks, read a lot about what to do when the time arrives, about the breathing rhythms to be practised during labour. Maybe I was too ready or maybe more and more anxious as the due date approached.

My due date was November 2. I reached the hospital on time with Roy and my parents but it seemed that Ryan did not want to come yet. We waited one day longer and then the doctors planned to induce labour, all the while monitoring Ryan's heart beat. Then suddenly things didn't seem to be OK and the doc rushed me into the operation theatre for a Caesarian section.

Quick moments, tension-filled moments where I was awake all the time due to the partial anaestetic. Finally everything was over when I heard the cries of the baby. Then they showed me in the operation theatre ... my son. I was so happy to see this crying little baby.

I always felt that experiencing labour pain while giving birth was one of the stages a woman had to go through in life. I still feel incomplete when I think about it. But God gifted me a healthy and lovely son. In the end it was a good bargain.